It doesn't feel real yet. When we moved here to SLO last summer, I knew what I was getting in to I knew we'd be here for a year while Joe was in school, that I would work a full-time job, and that we would be attending an awesome church. This next chapter of our life holds many more unknowns. There are a lot more cliffhangers this time around.
1.) I don't have a job. I'm 22 years old. I've always had school or work to do. Sure, there were summers that I didn't work or didn't have summer school, but it's been a few years since I've really had time off. I have no idea what I'm going to do with myself, and that's a little scary. I don't want to be the lazy housewife who sleeps in, watches soap operas, and wears sweats all day. I want to be productive and useful. How does one be useful without a job, children, or even a church to volunteer for? That's something I am praying through and trying to figure out. We move in a week, so I guess I'll find out soon enough!
2.) We aren't acquainted with any churches in the area. We have had a few suggestions (which we are grateful for) and will be investigating our options, but this is the first time that we as a couple don't know who our earthly shepherd is. One of Joe's closest friends counselled him not to look for a church with the expectation of being served and wowed, but with the intention of serving and encouraging that congregation. Our pastor's wife advised us to attend a church more than once in order to fully understand and absorb their theology and doctrine. (This was good advice for me. I think I would have gone once, and if the church didn't meet my "standards" I would have never given it a second thought.)
3.) We don't know how Joe's job will be. He'll be working 4 ten-hour days, instead of 5 eight-hour days. He was warned that overtime is to be expected, so he may end up working 5 ten-hour days most weeks. Joe has worked full-time over summers, but not over-time. He is super excited and thankful for a job in the field that he is interested in (aerospace). I'm a little concerned about him being burned out by the end of the week, but I know the Lord will sustain him. (This is another reason why I want to find some kind of work soon. I don't want to be unproductive while my husband is bending over backwards to provide for us.)
4.) Because we don't know how he will like his job, our living situation is tentative. We have a six-month lease on a two-bedroom apartment, and after the six months we can choose to pay month-to-month (a huge blessing). If he likes his job and we feel that God is intending us to stay in Tehachapi long-term, then we want to save up and buy a home as soon as possible. If he doesn't like his job, then we'd like to look for a house to rent for a couple years while he gains some work experience. Basically, we know we will be in that apartment for six months, but beyond that we have absolutely no idea.
A snapshot of our new apartment in the winter. I don't know how I will survive the snow!
5.) God is still reconciling me to the idea that we won't live close to family. Granted, we are still in California, and Tehachapi is only two and a half hours away from our hometown. I find myself feeling anxious about when it comes time for us to have kids. I still can't imagine not being able to drop off little Joseph Jr. at my parents so that Joe and I can have a date night. Or spontaneously having a playdate with his cousins. I think this time in San Luis Obispo has made me more open to being without my family when it's just me and Joe, but I'm still resisting a future where our babies will be without family.
I think the fact that I am uncomfortable with all these unknowns tells me how much I want to be in control of my own life, and how I'd like to think I know what's best for me and our future kids. At the end of the day, my Savior knows what's best, and He is working all things for good to those who love Him (Romans 8:28).
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