As an update to my last post, I did succeed in running six days in two weeks. I took a break this week because of an infection, but hope to be "up and running" next week!


As some of you may know, there has been a TON of drama surrounding our apartment situation here in Tehachapi. We finally signed a year lease on a newer, nicer apartment in a safer neighborhood, so we were through the roof about that! I went today to clean it before we moved in, and horror of horrors: SPIDERS EVERYWHERE. Oh my goodness, what the heck. I was alone, and therefore screamed at every new crawling revelation. I used about a half a can of bug spray on anything and everything that looked like a bug. The concentration seemed to be in our kitchen. Once I sprayed nearly every surface, I climbed onto the kitchen counter to start cleaning above the cupboards. Hello, mouse droppings. I looked up... and nearly fell off the counter. A dead mouse stuck in the air vent in the kitchen.


I completely fell apart. I can't do this. I already thought I was being brave by killing the spiders. But a dead mouse? I'm out.


I cried on the way back to our current apartment. Not because I was so terrified by the critters, but because that was my plan for the day. Clean the apartment. Normally cleaning isn't so important to me, but I had designated that as my distraction. I haven't seen Joe since Saturday. He's in Florida on a business trip and will be home tomorrow. One of my best friends, Amanda, came and stayed with my for a couple days and she was a wonderful distraction! Of course, she had to return to her life eventually.

Strange as it sounds, I depended on cleaning the apartment as a way to get through the day. If I succeeded and achieved my goal, I knew I would be okay. Since I failed, despair set in. Joe and I haven't been apart like this since we've been married. It's not even that he's out of town- he is across the country. Not only have we not seen each other, we haven't really been able to talk either. A two-minute phone conversation here, a five-minute text conversation there.


I know this post probably sounds like the crazy rantings of a clingy wife, and it probably is. I just miss my husband! I didn't marry him to be alone in TEHACHAPI.


After having a nice little pity-party, I read one of my favorite blogs: Pray for Ian. This blog always has a knack for putting my life into perspective and pointing me towards Christ. I realized that I was putting my faith and my comfort and my hope in myself and my tasks. Because I failed at my tasks, I became comfortless and hopeless. Instead of asking God to surround me with His joy and peace and comfort, I pursued my own strength. No wonder I'm miserable, right? Only my Savior can restore my soul and drive away the deepest loneliness.